i'm with stupid

once there was a boss who was soooo smart she couldn't write a letter explaining to the hr department why one of her subordinates was returning to work two months earlier than the four-month leave of absence initially filed by the subordinate, so the boss did what sophomoric bosses do: she ordered her secretary to write the letter (a secretary's job is to write letters, yes, but isn't it a boss' job to tell the secretary exactly what to write?). now the secretary had a lot of other paperwork to do, but because the secretary was a good secretary, she left all the other paperwork.

the secretary, however, didn't really know how to write the letter, because the boss didn't tell her the details for it. the secretary didn't ask: the boss didn't like being disturbed with questions. so the secretary sat in front of the computer, squinted her eyes, and willed the words to suddenly appear on the white screen in front of her. after a while, the screen was still empty.

as if on cue, the employee returnee (who happened to be the secretary's good friend) entered the office, saw the look of consternation on the secretary's face, and volunteered to write the letter.

as er started to clack away at the keyboard, the telephone rang.

secretary: good afternoon, boss' office. may i help you? oh, yes sir. she is here. please hold the line. (to boss) ma'am, mr. x is on the line for you. will you take it?

boss: okay. (sits by the telephone, picks receiver up) hello, sir. good afternoon. yes.

(secretary goes to an inner cubicle to finish her other work)

er: (type, type, type)

boss: uhm, yes, sir. oh really? i see.

er: (type, type, type)

boss: sir? uhh... prostate cancer... uhmm... is that cancer of the bone?

er: (slowly getting up, trying very hard not to let on that her shoulders were shaking)

(er enters the inner cubicle. finds the secretary very red in the face, doubling up as well)




i need a change of careers. now.